Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Girls and Body Image

Source: Connect with Kids

“[Girls get the message], ‘This is who you should be, and this is what you should look like, this is the ideal,’ and the ideal isn’t even real.”

– Ann Moore, Ph.D., Psychologist

Beginning at a young age, girls have a desire to be beautiful.

“You’re learning who you are. You’re worrying about self-esteem issues, how you look,” 17-year-old Ginny says.

For some girls, the focus is on weight – the thinner, the better.

“The media just sort of drills it in, that this is the ideal body image, and you sort of feel the need to live up to that expectation,” says Robin, 16.

Friends Robin, Ginny and Halle agreed to an experiment designed to test their self-perception. Each was given a sheet of paper lined with silhouettes of various body images. They were asked to circle the image they felt best matched their own body.

After calculating their weight and height, each girl then circled an image that actually matched those numbers. The result turned out to be a thinner image than the one they originally chose. Why did the teens think they were heavier than they actually were?

“Everybody’s harder on themselves than they should be,” says Halle, 17.

According to a Georgia State University study of 14,000 high school students, a distorted body image increases the risk that a girl will attempt suicide.

One reason: media images that are unrealistic.

“[They get the message that], ‘This is who you should be, and this is what you should look like, this is the ideal,’ and the ideal isn’t even real,” says psychologist Dr. Ann Moore, program director for the Atlanta Center for Eating Disorders.

Robin, Ginny and Halle each say they have a pretty healthy self-image but recognize the potential danger for teens who don’t.

“If you have a really distorted body image, a lot of times you can start hurting yourself in totally unhealthy ways – crazy diets and anorexia and bulimia, or if you’re a guy, over-exercising your muscles,” Halle says.

The experts agree. They say parents can help counter a negative self-image by teaching their children, especially girls who are sometimes more vulnerable, how to focus on the things that are really important.

“[By] recognizing that she’s intelligent, recognizing that she’s got a lot of spunk, recognizing that she’s funny, that she’s got a great sense of humor. All of those things are much more important than what somebody looks like,” Dr. Moore says.

Tips for Parents

According to a study from the University of Delaware, teenage girls perceive themselves as weighing more than 10 pounds heavier than they actually do. For their study, researchers asked 172 adolescents (aged 13 to 17) to pick one of 27 silhouettes resembling how they see themselves and then pick another silhouette matching their ideal weight. The researchers found that girls on average viewed themselves as weighing 141 pounds, which was 8 pounds more than their average weight (133 pounds) and 11 pounds more than their ideal weight (130 pounds). While boys also saw themselves as weighing more than they did (185 pounds vs. 172 pounds), they picked a higher ideal weight (182 pounds) that was closer to their average weight.

What is body image? The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) defines body image as how one sees oneself when looking in a mirror or how one pictures oneself in one’s mind. Body image includes how a person feels not only about his or her weight but also height and shape.

It is important to understand that body images can be positive or negative. The NEDA cites the following descriptions for both a positive and negative body image:

Positive body image:

■Having a clear, true perception of one’s shape (seeing the various parts of the body as they really are)
■Celebrating and appreciating one’s natural body shape and understanding that a person’s physical appearance says very little about his or her character and value as a person
■Feeling proud and accepting of one’s unique body and refusing to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight and calories
■Feeling comfortable and confident in one’s body
Negative body image:

■Having a distorted perception of one’s shape (perceiving parts of the body unlike they really are)
■Being convinced that only other people are attractive and that one’s body size or shape is a sign of personal failure
■Feeling ashamed, self-conscious and anxious about one’s body
■Feeling uncomfortable and awkward in one’s body
So how can you determine if your teen has a negative body image and whether or not he or she is in danger? The experts at Chicago Parent magazine suggest looking for these trouble signs in your teen:

■Engaging in excessive exercise or training that isn’t required for his or her athletic activities at school and that intrudes on other important activities
■Engaging in sports for the sole purpose of improving appearance
■Having a preoccupation with looking like the extremely thin women or muscular men in the media
■Using large quantities of dietary supplements, such as creatine or protein powders, or steroids, such as ephedrine or androstenedione
■Experiencing sharp fluctuations in weight
■Fasting, attempting extreme diets or using laxatives, diuretics or other dangerous techniques to lose weight
■Feeling like he or she never looks good enough
■Needing frequent reassurance that he or she “looks OK”
■Thinking, worrying about and feeling distressed about his or her appearance
■Allowing his or her appearance concerns to limit social activities or negatively affect school or job performance
■Avoiding having all or part of his or her body seen by others (avoiding locker room situations or wearing clothes that alter or disguise his or her body)
If you recognize any of the signs previously listed, it is important that you talk with your teen about these issues as soon as possible. Whether your son or daughter has a negative body image, the University of South Florida suggests the following tips to help guide your discussion:

■Tell your teen how important it is that he or she identifies and accepts his or her strengths and weaknesses. Remind him or her that everyone has them and that no one is perfect.
■Remind your teen that goals must be realistic and he or she must take pride in his or her achievements.
■Tell your teen not to be someone else but to be proud of whom he or she is.
■Have your teen explore his or her own talents and learn to love and appreciate the unique person he or she has become.
As a parent, it is important to remember that you play a crucial role in how your teen feels about his or her body. You are often his or her role model, and your teen learns from what you say and do. To be a positive role model and to help prevent your teen from developing a negative body image, the NEDA suggests the following strategies:

■Consider your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors toward your own body and the way that these beliefs have been shaped by the forces of weightism and sexism.
■Educate your teen about the genetic basis for the natural diversity of human body shapes and sizes and the nature and ugliness of prejudice.
■Make an effort to maintain positive, healthy attitudes and behaviors.
■Avoid conveying messages that will lead your teen to believe he or she needs to look more like a model and fit into smaller clothes.
■Learn about and discuss with your teen the dangers of trying to alter one’s body shape through dieting, the value of moderate exercise for health and the importance of eating a variety of foods in well-balanced meals consumed at least three times a day.
■Make a commitment not to avoid activities, such as swimming, sunbathing, dancing, etc., simply because they call attention to your weight and shape.
■Make a commitment to exercise for the joy of feeling your body move and grow stronger, not to purge fat from your body or to compensate for calories eaten.
■Help your teen appreciate and resist the ways in which television, magazines and other media distort the true diversity of human body types and imply that a slender body means power, excitement, popularity or perfection.
■Encourage your teen to be active and to enjoy what his or her body can do and feel like. Do not limit his or her caloric intake unless a physician requests that you do this because of a medical problem.
■Do whatever you can to promote the self-esteem and self-respect of your teen in intellectual, athletic and social endeavors. Give boys and girls the same opportunities and encouragement. A well-rounded sense of self and solid self-esteem are perhaps the best antidotes to dangerous dieting and a negative body image.

References
■Chicago Parent
■Georgia State University
■National Eating Disorders Association
■University of Delaware
■University of South Florida

Sue Scheff: Cell Phones and Fatalities

Source: Connect with Kids

“Three days later I woke up out of a coma, just for my husband to tell me that Ryan wasn’t gonna make it.”
– Lisa Duffner, mother

Ryan Duffner’s second birthday was memorable for the Lisa and Rorry Duffner. There were balloons, a cake and wishes for many more, but, unfortunately, it was Ryan’s last birthday. Two months later Ryan and Lisa, while on their daily walk, were hit by a car. The driver was a sixteen-year-old who was dialing her cell phone. The impact threw Ryan thirty feet and Lisa sixty feet. Lisa was knocked unconscious.

“Three days later I woke up out of a coma, just for my husband to tell me that Ryan wasn’t going to make it,” Lisa says, while fighting back tears.

Duffner was in such critical condition that doctors wouldn’t allow her to hold her son in the moments before his death.

“Not to say goodbye to my own baby—that was hard,” she says.

A study by the Harvard Center for Risk Analysis estimates that 6 percent of crashes are due to cell phones, resulting in 2,600 deaths and 12,000 serious injuries per year.

Seventeen-year-old Edgar admits that talking on the phone is often distracting. “When I’m dialing a number or something like that, I’ve caught myself kind of drifting off,” he says.
Edgar uses the cell phone while driving, in spite of his mom’s strict rules. “She’s always freaking out telling me, ‘Don’t be using your cell phone while you’re driving. ‘” Pull over if you have to,’” he says.

Though Lisa Duffner thinks that cell phones are necessary, she doesn’t have much patience for people that can’t take the time to pull over and make the call. “My biggest thing is just to pull over to make your phone call. Are you so self-important that you endanger everybody else’s lives?” she says.

Experts say that looking at a detailed phone bill is a way of checking up on kids’ phone usage. “You can look at that, and you can tell if they’re spending a lot of time on the phone coming from school to home. Then obviously they’re doing it,” says Captain Tommy Brown, Department of Public Safety.

But for teenagers, seeing the effects of what can happen, like the death of a two-year-old, may be the strongest tool for convincing them to hang up and drive.
Ryan’s absence reminds Duffner every day of the dangers of driving-while-distracted. “He was just that happy-go-lucky, jump-off-of-everything, friendly little kid. He just loved life.”

Tips for Parents

It is very likely that your teenager will pick up the majority of his/her driving habits from watching you. According to a survey by Liberty Mutual and Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD), nearly two-thirds of teenagers polled say their parents talk on the cell phone while driving, almost half say their parents speed, and just under one-third say their parents don’t wear seatbelts. The following statistics, therefore, shouldn’t be very surprising:
Sixty-two percent of high school drivers say they talk on a cell phone while driving, and approximately half of high school teens who do not yet drive (52 percent) and middle school students (47 percent) expect they will engage in this behavior when they begin driving.
Sixty-seven percent of high school drivers say they speed.

Thirty-three percent of high school drivers say they do not wear their seatbelt while driving.
Cell phones have been transformed from status symbols into everyday accessories. In fact, cell phones are so prevalent among teenagers that a recent study found that they viewed talking on the phone nearly the same as talking to someone face-to-face. And with the latest studies showing that at least 56 percent of 13- to 17-year-olds own cell phones, the issue of cell phone usage is more pertinent than ever.

If you believe your teen should have a cell phone, it is important to lay down a few ground rules. The National Institute on Media and the Family suggests the following guidelines for setting limits on your teen’s cell phone use:

Choose a plan that puts some reasonable limits on your teen’s phone time. Make sure he or she knows what the limits are so he or she can do some budgeting.
Let your teen know that the two of you will be reviewing the bill together so you will have some idea of how the phone is being used.

If use exceeds the plan limits, the charges can mount very quickly. Make sure your teen has some consequences, financial or otherwise, if limits are exceeded.

Teach your child about the dangers of using the cell phone while driving and the distractions it can cause.
Find out what the school’s policies are regarding cell phone use and let your teen know that you will completely support the school’s standards.

Agree on some cell phone etiquette. For example, no phone calling during meals or when it is bothersome or rude to other people.

Conversely, let your teen know that any “phone bullying” or cheating via text messaging will not be tolerated.

Let your teen know that his or her use of the cell phone is contingent on following the ground rules. No compliance, no phone.

References
Harvard Center for Risk Analysis
Liberty Mutual
Rutgers University
Students Against Destructive Decisions- SADD

Sue Scheff: Sexting - Teens and Cell Phones

What will be next? It seems today’s parenting tweens and teens becomes more challenging on a daily basis. It is becoming more difficult for parents to keep up with today’s teen technology, not only computers, but their cell phones. What started out as a safety gadget (being able to get in touch with your child or vice versa) now this gadget called a Cell Phone or I-Phone or SideKick or Blackberry, etc - has started a new rage of negative influences - being labeled as “sexting.”

Connect with Kids has a recent article and parenting tips on this latest trend. Take a moment to read more.

Source: Connect with Kids

“They’re taking shots of people in the bathrooms or at parties, people doing certain things that they wouldn’t want to know if they were not under the influences of certain things.”
– Taylor Boggs, 14 year old

According to 17 year old Emily Greene, “People have been taking pictures of girls or guys naked. And they are putting them on the internet and stuff like that.”

Now kids are sending those photos over their cell phones.

“Well, kids will just like put them on the ground and girls will walk over them if they’re wearing a skirt and they’ll take a picture of it,” says Reece Boston, 16. He also says, “I think there are girls who are aware of it, actually. I mean there are girls who’ll go to school and not have any underwear on …it’s really kind of sick.”

Nude photos will embarrass themselves and their family and they may well be illegal - experts say that’s what kids need to hear loud and clear from their parents.

“Parents have 100% of the power, “says psychologist Alduan Tartt, Ph.D., “because most kids won’t admit that they listen to their parents, but what you say to them in an exchange of information is really what they need.”

Some educators and child psychologists recommend that part of the agreement to buy a cell phone for a child should be the parents’ right to check the phone for suggestive pictures.
High school curriculum director Bobby Macris adds, “Ultimately it’s the parents decision… so if they think it’sbeing abused, like anything else … like a car or whatever, they can just take it away from them.”

But some experts argue the real issue is that, in a very sexual culture, too few parents talk to their kids about sex … and too many educators teach only plumbing, all which leaves too many kids on their own. Gail Elizabeth Wyatt, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at UCLA says, “We’re concerned about their behavior, we certainly don’t want them to be sexually active, we don’t want them to think about sex, and yet they’re exploited daily by the things they see, by the music they hear, by the clothes that they’re reinforced to wear. And they are very poorly guided by parents, by our society, their religions, and generally by everyone that they meet except each other. “

Tips for Parents

Should teenagers be allowed to have camera phones? The wireless industry is hoping parents will say “yes.” Experts say teenagers have become the cell phone market’s fastest growing demographic group. A study by the market research firm Cahners In-Stat Group predicts the number of young cell phone subscribers will explode to 43 million by next year. That means half of all teenagers will own a cell phone, and three out of four will use one, many of which will have cameras built in to them.

Research shows parents are often willing to pay for the cell phone to keep track of their kids. However, parents need to be mindful of the downsides of having camera phones, such as spying on other people, dangerous pranks, etc. Teens, on the other hand, told researchers they use phones mostly for social purposes – and they want more colorful and interesting cell phone options.

The best way to prevent your teenager from using their camera phones in inappropriate ways is to set ground rules and expectations in every area of their life, starting when they are young. If they have a good grasp of right and wrong, it should apply to every area of their lives, including their use of camera phones. Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D., has developed guidelines to follow to monitor your teenager and to keep a closer eye on their behavior.

Get to know the parents of your children’s friends. This is absolutely the most important thing you can do if you want to have access to your children’s world. When your teen begins to “hang” with a new kid, get the phone number, call the parents and introduce yourself. Make a point of giving the child a ride home so you can walk up to the door and shake the parent’s hand. As soon as the kids start making plans to get together, touch base with the other parent to exchange information about rules regarding curfew, acceptable activities and supervision. Responses will range from relief that you are as concerned as they are to resentment that you expect parental support and involvement. Parents who are like-minded are going to become part of the support system that keeps your children safe. Parents who either don’t care where their kids are or who think it’s absolutely fine for them to be unsupervised aren’t going to respond well to being asked to be responsible. You may be dismayed but at least you will know where you stand.
Communicate regularly with those parents. When teens make plans that involve staying at another teen’s house or getting rides to events with other parents, make sure that you have a parent-to-parent communication at some point in the planning process. Make sure that it is really okay with the other parent that your child is sleeping over. Conversely, make sure that the other parent knows if you are driving their children or dropping them at an event. Again, check for agreement about the level of supervision.

Establish the “Three W” rule. Teens need to tell you where they are going, who they will be with, and when they will be back. This is not an invasion of privacy; it’s common courtesy. Adult roommates generally do the same for each other. You don’t need minute details, just the broad strokes of what is being planned for the evening. If something comes up, your child can be located. People engaged in “legitimate” activities don’t need to hide their whereabouts.

Respect privacy, but refuse to accept secretive behavior. It’s important to your teen’s developing sense of independence to have some privacy, but he or she must learn the difference between privacy and secrecy. Your kids do have a right to talk with friends privately, to keep a diary and to have uninterrupted time alone. But if your teen starts being evasive – get busy. Calmly, firmly, steadily insist that you have a right to know who their friends are and what they are doing together. Talk to teachers about who your kid’s friends are as well and start to build alliances with their parents.

Talk regularly with your kids about their choice of friends. Kids often don’t realize that they’ve fallen in with bad company. They like to think that they see something positive in a kid that everyone knows is bad news. They may be drawn to the exotic, the different, the risky. They are teens, after all! And part of the job of adolescence is learning how to judge character. Keep lines of communication with your child open so that you can talk about their relationships.
Support your child’s positive involvement in a sport, art or activity. Generally, kids who come through the teen years unscathed are those who have a passion about something and who develop a friendship circle around it. This could be the football team, the dance studio, the skateboarding club or a martial art dojo. It really doesn’t matter what it is, but what does matter is that you get involved. Provide rides. Watch practices, games and performances. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time or money to let your teen and his or her friends know that you care. Bring the whole team popsicles on a hot day or hot chocolate on a cold one. Let your child – and his or her group – know that you are willing to put your time, money and energy into supporting healthy activity.

Help your child get a job. If your child spends too much time at loose ends and doesn’t have a sport or an activity, at least get him or her working. A job teaches life skills, eats up idle time and helps kids feel good about themselves.

Act swiftly and certainly when something unacceptable happens. Your son isn’t where he said he would be? Go find him. Your daughter’s friend invited a boy into the house when she thought you had gone to sleep? Get dressed and take everybody home. Your kid comes home drunk? Put him or her to bed for the rest of the night, but deal with it first thing in the morning. Be consistently clear, kind and definite in response to unacceptable behavior and kids will see that you really won’t tolerate it.

Model adult behavior when you are in conflict with your teen. Whatever you do, don’t yell, threaten, preach or “lose it” if you don’t like a behavior, a friendship or how your child interacts with you. You will render yourself totally ineffective with your teen. Your child will take you far more seriously if you insist that the two of you focus on managing the problem instead of yelling at each other.

References
National Safety Council
AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety
Progressive Phone Safety Tips

Sue Scheff - Inauguration Day 2009 - Parents and Teens and Politics!

What an exciting week we have ahead of us! It is amazing how today’s youths are getting involved in politics and taking the initiative to learn all they can. This is not only a historical time for our country, there is a feeling of unity among all people of all ages. This can also a great time to spend with your kids and explain the importance of this upcoming week. How do you feel? Do your kids truly understand the history of this moment? This is a perfect opportunity to have family time and excitement as well as creating lasting memories.

Read the article Connect with Kids posted back in June outlining how teens really took part in this past election. Again, an exciting time in history!

Sue Scheff - HIV Testing and Teens

Years ago, one of our biggest fears with pre-marital sex, was getting pregnant! Today we still have that fear, but what is more concerning is the STD’s! They can be death sentences in some cases. Parents need to take the time to educate our teens today of the consequences of unprotected sex. None of us like the idea of our teens having sex so young, but we need to face the reality if they do, they need to be protected.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Our evidence is that when people find out they’re infected with HIV, they cut down their risky behavior by more than two-thirds.”

– Bernard Branson, M.D., Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Does your 13-year-old need an HIV test?

“No, because she’s not sexually active,” says father Mark Alterio, “So I wouldn’t have her screened.”

“I’m a proponent of being more informed,” says mother Ingrid Emmons, “and I feel like if you’re more informed then we can get you the help that you need. So I’d rather know than not know.”

The American College of Physicians is now backing the Center for Disease Control’s recommendations to have everyone between the ages of 13 and 64 tested for HIV.

But why start so young?

“Our information, first of all, from recent surveys suggests that about 47-percent of teenagers, high school students, are sexually active,” says Dr. Bernard Branson, with the CDC’s division of HIV/AIDS Prevention.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 250-thousand Americans have HIV and don’t know it.

Experts say expanded testing could stop thousands from spreading the virus.

“Our evidence is that when people find out they’re infected with HIV,” says Dr. Branson, “they cut down their risky behavior by more than two-thirds.”

Experts estimate testing will reduce the number of new HIV cases from around 40-thousand to 17-thousand a year.

Screening could especially benefit teenagers.

“Our recommendation is to make this something that’s routine,” says Dr. Branson, “so that it doesn’t cause an adolescent in particular to have to admit something they might prefer not to, in order to get HIV-tested.”

In other words, if it’s not routine, some kids won’t ask to get tested - because it means admitting they were sexually active.

Some parents agree.

“Kids are always hiding something,” says mother Melanie Zentner, “especially in the teenaged years, even if you’re close. So I’d like to know, so you can take care of it right away. That would be my opinion.”

HIV tests cost between eight and 20 dollars each. If there is a positive result, more testing is done to confirm the results.


Tips for Parents
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2006, 15 percent of persons diagnosed with HIV/AIDS were 13 to 24. Twenty-six percent were aged 25-34. The typical delay between the exposure to HIV infection and the onset of AIDS means that most of these young adults were infected as teens. There is a growing concern among U.S. health organizations about complacency – referred to as “safe-sex fatigue” – among young people toward HIV infection and AIDS. However, statistics show there is no reason for teens to be complacent about AIDS.

The Kaiser Family FoundationSexual Health of Adolescents and Young Adults in the United States 2008 report finds the following statistics about HIV, AIDS and teens:

The CDC estimates that almost 46,000 young people, ages 13 to 24, were living with HIV in the U.S in 2006. Women comprised 28% of these HIV/AIDS cases among 13- to 24-year-olds.
African-American young adults are disproportionately affected by HIV infection, accounting for 60% of HIV/AIDS diagnoses in 13- to 24-year-olds in 2006.
More HIV infections occurred among adolescents and young adults 13–29 years old (34%) of new HIV infections than any other age group. Most young people with HIV/AIDS were infected by sexual transmission.
In 2006, 16% of young adults ages 18 to 24 reported that they had been tested for HIV in the past 12 months.
The Kaiser study also shows that over the past decade teens have become smarter about sex:

Nearly half (48%) of all high school students in 2007 reported ever having had sexual intercourse, a decline from 54% in 1991. Males (50%) are slightly more likely than females (46%) to report having had sex. The median age at first intercourse is 16.9 years for boys and 17.4 years for girls.
In 2007, among the 35% of currently sexually active high school students, 62% reported using a condom the last time they had sexual intercourse, up from 57% in 1997.1 African-American students (67%) were more likely to report using condoms compared to White (60%) and Hispanic (61%) students. Males (69%) were more like to report condom use than females (55%).
Using a dual method of a condom and hormonal contraceptive is becoming more prevalent for teenage females. The percentage of currently sexually active never-married females 15–19 years of age reporting use of dual methods rose from 8% in 1995 to 20% in 2002.
Sexually active teens need information, skills and support to protect themselves from HIV and AIDS. The American Association for World Health (AAWH) says parents communicating in a positive way about sexuality and risky behaviors can have a “profound influence” in helping young people make healthy decisions. Talking to your teen about AIDS can often be difficult and uncomfortable because it requires talking about issues like sex and drugs. The AAWH suggests the following tips when talking to your teen about HIV and AIDS:

AIDS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. It is a serious and fatal disease of the human immune system and is caused by a virus called human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). A person will not develop AIDS unless he or she has first been infected with HIV.
HIV can be spread through oral, anal or vaginal sexual activity. The sexual transmission can be from male to female, from male to male, from female to male or from female to female. HIV may be in an infected person’s blood, semen, vaginal secretions or breast milk. It can enter the body through cuts or sores on tissue in the vagina, penis, rectum and sometimes the mouth. The cuts may be so small that you don’t know they’re there.
You can become infected with HIV from even one instance of unprotected sex. While complete abstinence is the surest way to prevent the sexual transmission of HIV, protecting yourself with a latex condom or barrier at every sexual encounter is very important.
Most birth control methods like the pill or diaphragms don’t protect you from HIV.
Whether you inject drugs or steroids or use needles for tattoos or body piercing, sharing needles places you at risk for becoming infected with HIV.
Using drugs of any kind, including alcohol or inhalants, can cloud your judgment. You could become less careful about having sex or injecting drugs – behaviors that place you at risk for HIV.

References
American Association for World Health
American College of Physicians
Centers for Disease Control
The Kaiser Family Foundation

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff: Where Do Teens Turn for Medical Advice

Source: Connect with Kids


“I had irritation in my special ‘no-no’ place. And that was a question that I wasn’t going to ask my mom.”

– Sheaele, Age 17

So where do teenagers like Sheaele turn when they want a health question answered? Sometimes friends, sometimes teachers… and according to a new survey, nearly half of teens are now going to the Internet to look for medical information.

“If it was a personal problem that I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anybody about, I would probably just look it up online,” says 18-year-old Joe.

But the information teens find on web sites may not always be accurate. Experts say to help a child avoid bad information, parents should do their own search of teen-friendly medical web sites.

Check them out. Then suggest the ones you like to your teen.

“Internet sites that do that, just give clear health information … I think that would be probably a good idea,” says Dr. Dawn Swaby-Ellis, a pediatrician.

But experts have an even better idea for parents: Find a real-life doctor their teen can trust.

“The best guarantee for growing up a healthy, secure, communicative adolescent is for that adolescent to have a constant relationship with a health practitioner over time,” says Dr. Swaby-Ellis.

Because while a doctor can promise teens the privacy they want, unlike the Internet, a doctor can also alert parents in the case of a serious health issue.

“If there’s anything at all that we hear, during an interview with a child alone that sounds like they’re in trouble,” says Swaby-Ellis, then we’ll certainly let (the parent) know.”

Tips for Parents
Previous studies have found that over 60 million Americans use the Internet for health and medical information. Teens make up a sizeable portion of this number; the Project estimates 45% of all children under the age of 18 have Internet access.

Health-related web sites that targeted teens are appearing on the Internet. Sites such as:


iEmily.com
Zaphealth
THINK (Teenage Health Interactive Network)
Teen Growth
These sites are like interactive magazines written specifically for teens. Headlines from a recent ZapHealth page include: “My Friend's Acne” and “Guilt about Drinking.” Other topics on the site include “getting the dirt on important issues like kissing, piercing and buying condoms.”

In addition to articles, these web sites offer:


Information and advice on general, sexual and emotional health
Information on fitness and sports
Family issues
Chat rooms where teens can talk with others with similar concerns
Bulletin boards where teens can post questions and receive answers from health care professionals
Links to other resources

It’s easy, quick and convenient. An added appeal of these sites is that teens can get information anonymously, without having to talk to anyone. The Pew Project says that 16% of web health seekers do so to get information about a sensitive health topic that is difficult to talk about.

Although a teen can get answers to some questions on these sites, the sites caution teens that they are not a substitute for regular healthcare; teens should see their healthcare providers as needed.

ZapHealth also urges children under 18 to talk with their parents or guardians about any health or emotional issues.


References
The Pew Internet and American Life Project
ZapHealth

Sue Scheff - Parenting - What your kids are doing shouldn't be a mystery

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Sue Scheff - Exercise can Improve Grades

Source: Connect with Kids

“There is a connection between physical activity and learning and it is a positive one - children who are more physically fit do better academically. They concentrate better in the classroom [and] they perform better on math and reading examinations.”

– Dr. David Satcher, former U.S. Surgeon General

In an effort to boost test performance, many schools are taking time away from physical education and using it for more time in class.

But studies now show that rigorous physical activity can actually lead to better grades.

In Broward County, Florida, many schools are getting the message.

Fourth grade teacher Katherine Bennett takes her students out for a five-minute walk after a long lesson.

“I found that when my children start yawning and they start not paying attention, then one way I can refocus those children is to take them out for a brief, little fun walk,” she says. “And by the time we’ve got them back into the room again, they’re ready to study some more.”

In fact, according to new research from the Medical College of Georgia, kids who are active and play hard have higher levels of concentration, better organization skills and are less impulsive than kids who are sedentary.

“The area of the brain that’s involved in cognitive learning is the same area that’s stimulated by physical activity, so the two seem to work hand in hand,” explains Jackie Lund, Ph.D, President of the National Association for Sport and Physical Education.

Former U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. David Satcher agrees, “Children who are physically fit do better academically. They perform better on standardized examinations, they concentrate better, on the other hand, children who are obese are four times as likely to be depressed, very likely to be absent from school.”

What’s more, many kids say it’s easy to get distracted if you have to sit still, all day long, in school.

“After a while I just get antsy and I want to move around - cause I start to get stiff and it’s like, I want to get up and walk around,” complains 18-year-old Eric DeGreeff. “But in class you can’t really get up and walk around,”

That’s why, experts say, if your child’s school does not provide vigorous physical education, you have to speak up.

“If parents go out and demand quality physical education, where their kids are learning and they’re moving and they’re involved in activities that are going to create the next steps for a life time, then they will be heard,” says Lund.

Tips for Parents

“It is helpful to think of the brain as a muscle,” Dr. John Ratey told colleagues at a conference on “Learning and the Brain” in Boston. Dr. Ratey, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, says the best way to “maximize the brain” is through exercise and movement. Emerging new research on animals and humans suggests his theory may be correct. In particular, the following two studies indicate that physical exercise may boost brain function, improve mood and increase learning:

A four-year study at Albion College in Michigan shows that children who participated in regular exercise (jumping rope, hopscotch, catching and throwing balls) significantly raised their scores on standardized mathematics tests. Teachers also reported that the exercise program helped improve the students’ social and emotional skills.

Investigators from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute have found that running boosts the growth of nerve cells and improves learning and memory in adult mice. According to the study, the brains of mice that exercised had about 2.5 times more new nerve cells than sedentary mice.
Says Dr. Ratey: “Twelve minutes of exercise at 85% of your maximum heart rate is like taking a little bit of Prozac and a little bit of Ritalin in a very holistic manner.”

The National Association for Sport and Physical Education (NASPE) offers the following statistics and recommendations to support that physically active children “learn better”:

Elementary school students should participate in a minimum of 60 minutes of moderate and vigorous activity every day.

Middle and high school students should participate in 30 minutes of physical activity daily.
Play is an essential part of children’s social development.

Children learn how to cooperate, compete constructively, assume leader/follower roles and resolve conflicts by interacting in play.

Only 25% of American children participate in any type of daily physical activity.

More than 300,000 deaths are caused annually by a lack of exercise and a poor diet.

How much exercise does your child need? According to the American Heart Association (AHA), a “healthy level” of physical activity requires regular participation in activities that increase heart rates above resting levels. An active child plays sports, participates in physical education classes, performs regular household chores, spends recreational time outdoors and regularly travels by foot or bicycle.

The AHA offers the following guidelines for maintaining healthy physical activity in children:

Encourage regular walking, bicycling, outdoor play, the use of playgrounds and gymnasiums and interaction with other children.

Allow no more than two hours per day to watch television or videotapes.

Promote weekly participation in age-appropriate organized sports, lessons, clubs or sandlot games.

Have your child participate in daily school or day-care physical education that includes at least 20 minutes of coordinated large-muscle exercise.

Make sure your child has access to school buildings and community facilities that enable safe participation in physical activities.

Provide opportunities for physical activities that are fun, increase confidence and involve friends and peers.

Organize regular family outings that involve walking, cycling, swimming or other recreational activities.

Engage in positive role modeling for a physically active lifestyle.
Experts say it is important for parents to remember that physical activity doesn’t have to be strenuous to be beneficial.

References
American Heart Association
Howard Hughes Medical Institute
Medical College of Georgia
National Association for Sport and Physical Education

Sue Scheff featured in the Sun Sentinel

'Wit's End' book offers advice to help out-of-control teens

By Liz Doup South Florida Sun-SentinelOctober 8, 2008

A decade ago, when her 14-year-old daughter spiraled out of control, Sue Scheff didn't know where to turn.

As a result, the Weston mom sent Ashlyn to a residential program that harmed rather than helped, she says. It was a drastic move after her daughter had temporarily run away and threatened violence.

In hindsight, Scheff wishes she had looked more closely at schools and asked more questions. To help parents avoid her mistakes, she started researching programs that offer professional treatment in a residential setting. She put what she learned in the recently published book, Wit's End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen (Health Communications Inc.; $14.95). She also created Parents' Universal Resource Experts Inc. (helpyourteens.com).

Read the entire article here: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/features/sfl-1008-troubled-teens-help,0,3889948.story

Sue Scheff: Middle School Drinking

Source: Connect with Kids

“We’ve approached parenting as a life-long process and this is just part of it. We’re just starting him, training him, helping him get set for the rest of his life - to make his own decisions.”

– Jon Schlanger, Jake’s father

“I’ve heard in other schools that people have been sneaking drugs into their lockers,” Jake says. He’s only ten years old, and he already knows kids who use drugs.

Experts say that today, children younger than ever are exposed to themes once reserved for adults: sex, violence, profanity - as well as drugs and alcohol.

“I think they’re pushed,” explains educator Kay Scott. “You know, pushed by music, pushed by movies, and pushed in some ways by the media.”

Experts add that parents aren’t teaching their elementary school-age kids about the dangers of alcohol.

As Dr. Michael Fishman, an addiction medicine specialist, explains, “Many of the parents are not getting involved as much with kids around education, around negative experiences they’ve had with drugs and alcohol.”

And that’s why Jake’s parents began that conversation two years ago. His father is a recovering alcoholic.

“That was a part of our life and it is a part of our life, so it was appropriate for this family to have that conversation at the time,” says Jon Schlanger, Jake’s dad.

One specific worry for them is that Jake inherited his dad’s genes.

“If one of the parents has the disease of alcoholism, I think at a minimum it’s 25% more likely [that the child will inherit the disease],” explains Dr. Fishman.

Another concern is his age. “The younger they start drinking, the higher risk they’re going to have for alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence,” he continues.

Which is why, Dr. Fishman says every family needs to start the conversation early: “I think the young people are much more aware and ready than many parents may believe.”

Jake’s dad knows he was ready for it, too. “In one respect it forces me to be honest about it; in another aspect, and this was very important to me, is for him to see that when I had a problem that I would try to face it and work through it.”

Tips for Parents

Alcohol-related fatalities are a leading cause of death among young adults in the United States. In the United States, 70.8 percent of all deaths among persons aged 10 to 24 result from only four causes – motor-vehicle crashes, other unintentional injuries, homicide and suicide.

Should your family doctor take just a few moments to counsel your child about the risks of alcohol, there is great potential for positive outcome. Just a few minutes of a doctor's counseling helped young adults reduce their high-risk drinking and the number of traffic crashes, emergency room visits, and arrests for substance or liquor violations, says a study in the Annals of Family Medicine. Consider the following:

Underage drinking causes over $53 billion in criminal, social and health problems.
Alcohol is a leading factor in the three leading causes of death for 15 to 24-year-olds: automobile crashes, homicide and suicide.
Primary-care doctors should make it a priority to counsel young adults about high-risk drinking. Young adults, ages 18 to 30, who received counseling about reducing their use of alcohol:

Experienced a 40 to 50 percent decrease in alcohol use.
Reported 42 percent fewer visits to the emergency room.
Were involved in 55 percent fewer motor vehicle crashes.
The ways a parent can influence his or her teen’s drinking habits is complex. A universal method regarding what works best in preventing underage drinking may not exist. A study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that a parent’s attitude toward drinking influences a child's behavior in various ways. Researchers found that teens who drank with their parents were less likely than others to have binged or used alcohol at all in recent weeks.

The study also found that strict parenting can curb kids' drinking. Teens who said they feared they would have their privileges taken away if they got caught drinking were half as likely to drink as those who thought their parents would not punish them. In addition, consider the following:

The average girl takes her first sip of alcohol at age 13. The average boy takes his first sip of alcohol at age 11.
Teenagers who said their parents or their friends' parents had provided alcohol for a party over the past year were twice as likely as their peers to have used alcohol or binged during the previous month.
Nearly 75 percent of teens surveyed said they had never used alcohol.
About 25 percent of teens in the study said they'd been at party in the past year where parents supplied alcohol.
Fourteen percent of teens surveyed said they were with their parents the last time they drank.

References
The Centers for Disease Control
Focus Adolescent Services
National Youth Violence Prevention Center
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
U.S. Surgeon General

Sue Scheff: Pitfalls of Popularity

Source: Connect with Kids

"Part of fitting in and part of being popular is that teenagers who are popular tend to engage in a lot of behaviors that are valued by their peers. Some are good and some are not so good.”

– Marla Shapiro, licensed psychologist

“We didn’t get in until like, really late, so as soon as we got there we went right out,” 18-year-old Candler Reed says, filling her mom in on the details of her weekend.

Candler goes to a lot of parties; she has a lot of friends. For Candler Reed, being popular has its perks. “Having things to do on the weekends, having a very wide circle of friends,” she says.

But it also has its pitfalls. “My social life was first freshman through junior year, that was my first priority, even over my school work.”

She was less likely to do homework, and according to a recent study by the University of Virginia, popular teens, like Candler, are three times more likely to experiment with risky behaviors than their unpopular counterparts.

“Teenagers who are popular tend to engage in a lot of behaviors that are valued by their peers. Some are good and some are not so good,” explains Marla Shapiro, licensed psychologist.

For Candler it was drinking, something her mom was not happy with, “It was disappointing to find out that she was not always where she said she was or doing what she said she was doing.”

Experts say, with popular teens especially, this can be surprising for parents. “We think that oh, our kids are popular, they’re well liked, they get along well with us, they’re doing well, we can relax, these are what you call good kids, and I think the message for parents would be- you can’t ever let your guard down,” explains Shapiro.

Setting a strict curfew, knowing her friends, keeping in constant touch are just a few of the things that worked well for Candler and her mom. “It’s definitely gotten better now, now that we’ve gotten more involved with her life,” explains her mom.

“It’s made me learn, I learned from my mistakes, the mistakes I have made probably trying to be cool and fit in,” says Candler.

Tips for Parents
Many people believe students who are popular set the trends and take the lead in regards to making decisions. However, popular students are just as susceptible to peer pressure as other students – and sometimes more so, because they don’t want to become unpopular or lose their status.

When students – popular or not – are pressured by others to do certain things or go certain places, it can be very stressful. Experts at the Do It Now Foundation suggest the following things to consider to ease the decision-making process:

Identify the problem
Describe possible solutions or alternatives
Evaluate the ideas
Act out a plan
Learn for the future (have reactions in place for certain scenarios)
Being a popular student can be a very enviable position, but for some students it can also be a burden. The possibility of bad influences or advice is increased as more and more people surround an individual. Therefore, it is important for parents of popular children to encourage them to be responsible and develop good decision-making skills, particularly when it comes to comes to deciding what things are more important than others. Experts at Omaha Boys Town Pediatrics suggest the following tips for parents who are concerned with the friends surrounding their children and the influences they have may have on them:

Spend time together – Recent studies indicate that children who feel close to their parents are less likely to be negatively influenced by others.
Use opportunities to teach your children – Some of the time you spend with your children should be used to discuss problems and concerns they might face. These discussions give you an opportunity to offer advice and reinforce your family's morals and values.
Listen carefully to what your children say – Talk with them instead of at them.
Monitor what your children are doing – Keep track of them, watch over them and have them check in and report where they are, who they're with, and what they're doing.
References
Do It Now Foundation
Omaha Boys Town Pediatrics
University of Virginia

High School Transition by Connect with Kids

“(My sons are) scared and you’re nervous and you want to fit in. And hopefully they’ll come home and talk about it. And I know Kyle was worried about getting beaten up…and that’s the first time he’s mentioned that.”

– Carrie Bickwit, mother

Kyle and grant have spent the summer playing,

But now high school is just a few days away.

“As it gets closer it gets more… it hits me more that it’s that close,” says Kyle, 13.

“I’m a little nervous about all the homework,” admits twin brother Grant, “Everyone’s saying about how it’s going to be twice as much as middle school.”

Kyle worries about fitting in…

“I’m kind of shy,” he says, “And if you’re in with people you don’t really know, you’re afraid you’ll make a mistake and that’ll ruin you.”

Psychologist Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., says there are plenty of kids who share Kyle and Grant’s concerns. “I hear a lot of headaches and stomach aches this time of year, because they are so anxious about going to school,” she says.

To help a child gear up academically, experts recommend a little extra reading the last several days before school begins.

“We’re actually doing a pre-reading book report and right now it’s taking a while ‘cause it’s summer and my brain’s off,” says Grant.

For a child worried about fitting in…experts suggest find a friend with an older son or daughter who’s been through it all…

“To tell them that this is going to be short lived,” says Dr. McGarrah, “This is going to be somewhat painful but it’s something you adjust to pretty quickly.”

Next, as soon as school starts, join a club, or activity- any small group where you can make friends.

“In a big school it’s even more important, because you really can feel lost in the crowd.”

Finally, whatever their fears or anxieties…

“I think it’s important to reassure them,” says Dr. McGarrah, “To tell them first of all that all kids feel that way. Even the kid that you look at as the most successful, attractive kid is probably feeling that way.”

Tips for Parents

Ninth grade is a time of great change in many students’ lives. They are either the “big men on campus” or else they are on the bottom of the totem pole. As the debate rages on as to whether ninth graders should be in middle or high school, experts have developed advantages and disadvantages to keeping ninth graders in the same school with the sixth, seventh and eight grades.

Advantages:

Ninth graders can have a leadership role that they would not enjoy in a senior high school setting.
The difference in age between age 14 (ninth grade) and age 18 (twelfth grade) is so great that it can be difficult for some ninth graders to adjust.
Some ninth graders are too young and immature to be placed with senior high school students.
The four-year stay in one school facilitates better relationships for students, staff and parents than a shorter stay.
Disadvantages:

Ninth graders are more like tenth, eleventh and twelfth graders because most have gone through puberty.

Separating ninth graders from tenth, eleventh and twelfth graders limits curriculum and extracurricular offerings for them.

The younger children, especially the sixth graders, may want to imitate the ninth graders and grow up too fast.

Ninth graders will experience a variety of new skills and milestones. It is always good for parents to have some idea of what their student is going through, and the following list should help.

Intellectual Skills – Higher expectations coincide with his/her own increasing abilities. He/she will have interests that span farther and wider than ever, in addition to a greater awareness and curiosity about the world around him/her. An example of your teenager’s expanding intellect is his/her newfound skill of deductive reasoning.

Social Skills – Your adolescent is becoming less egocentric in his/her views, and that gives a greater ability to compromise, to stay composed when he/she's in disagreement with someone and to be generally more tolerant and even-tempered. His/her view of the world will settle first on the friends he/she has around him/her.

Emotional changes – While your ninth-grader is less self-conscious than he/she has been in the past couple of years, he/she is most likely still uncertain about how he/she measures up. Physical appearance matters greatly to him/her, as well as how they're developing.
Challenges – Your student will encounter many challenges throughout the ninth grade year, and the most common ones are academic failure, eating too much or too little, struggling with abstinence versus teenage sex and adjusting to a bigger school.

References
U.S. Department of Education
Family Education Network
Parent Soup
Partnership for a Drug Free America

'Bullycide' by Connect with Kids

“They may incorporate that dislike into disliking themselves and then it’s only one or two short steps from disliking one’s self to wanting to harm one’s self.”

– Jim Stark, Ph.D., Forensic Psychologist

Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people in the United States.

Marvin Novelo is 17, openly gay - and has tried to kill himself several times.

“Drowning, pills, several other things,” he remembers.

Since the third grade, Marvin says, he has been the victim of bullies at school.

He’s been beaten up, thrown into a dumpster, a trashcan, and into a toilet in the girl’s bathroom.

“But of course, none of it was really as bad as just the verbal harassment,” Marvin says. “Because you couldn’t escape it. You could run away from someone trying to beat you up, but in a classroom there was nowhere to run.”

A new review of studies by Yale University finds that bully victims are two to nine times more likely to report having suicidal thoughts than other kids.

“They may incorporate that dislike into disliking themselves,” says Dr. Jim Stark, who has worked with gay and lesbian teens, “and then it’s only one or two short steps from disliking one’s self to wanting to harm one’s self.”

“I see myself a person that’s not even deserving to live, a person that doesn’t deserve anything in life,” adds Marvin. “I see myself as this -and this is embarrassing, it’s humiliating.”

Psychologists say parents of kids who are depressed or bullied at school should ask their son or daughter if they’ve thought about suicide.

“And if you can present it in a way that you don’t label it as horrible, that someone would consider suicide as a solution, then you give permission for that thought to be there, and more permission to be able to talk about that option and other options,” says Dr. Paul Schenk, a psychologist.

As for Marvin, his goals for the future are simple.

“I want a life where I can actually be at peace,” he says.

Tips for Parents

The National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC) reports that kids fear violence in school from bullies more than outside terrorist attacks, and it appears that they do so for good reason. The NCPC surveyed more than 500 students aged 12 to 17 and found that six out of 10 U.S. teens witness bullying in school at least once a day. Even among students in lower grade levels, elementary school officials are seeing an increase in assaults and threats to classmates and teachers. In Philadelphia, 22 kindergartners were suspended during the first half of this school year, one for punching a pregnant teacher in the stomach. An 8-year-old in Maryland recently threatened to burn down his school. And a survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that at least 10,000 children stay home from school each month out of fear of bullies.

Why is bullying on the rise in U.S. schools? Educators cite various causes, including violent video games, the failing economy and a stressed or abusive home life. Experts say that schools and families often ignore the resulting damage caused by bullying, including a fear of attending school, carrying weapons for protection and committing more violent activity. In fact, the National Institute of Child Health & Human Development (NICHD) found that the long-term effects of frequent bullying often follow victims into adulthood. They say that these adults are at greater risk of suffering from depression, schizophrenia or other mental health problems, and in rare cases, may commit suicide.

Parental involvement is the key to reducing and preventing bullying and the problems it brings. The NCPC offers the following tips to help prevent bullying incidents in your child’s school and community:

Listen to your child. Encourage him or her to talk about school, social events, classmates and the walk or ride to and from school so you can identify any problems he or she may be experiencing.
Take your child’s complaints of bullying seriously. Probing a seemingly minor complaint may uncover more severe grievances.

Watch for symptoms that your child may be a bullying victim. These symptoms include withdrawal, a drop in grades, torn clothes or the need for extra money or supplies.
Tell the school or organization immediately if you think that your child is being bullied. Alerted caregivers can carefully monitor your child’s actions and take steps to ensure his or her safety.
Work with other parents in your neighborhood. This strategy can ensure that children are supervised closely on their way to and from school.

Teach your child nonviolent ways to resolve arguments.

Teach your child self-protection skills. These skills include how to walk confidently, staying alert to what’s going on around him or her and standing up for himself or herself verbally.

Help your child learn the social skills needed to make friends. A confident, resourceful child who has friends is less likely to be bullied or to bully others.

Praise your child’s kindness toward others. Let him or her know that kindness is valued.
Don’t bully your child yourself, physically or verbally. Use nonphysical, consistently enforced discipline measures as opposed to ridiculing, yelling or ignoring your child when he or she misbehaves.

Although anyone can be the target of a bully, victims are often singled out based on psychological traits more than physical traits. The National Resource Center for Safe Schools says that passive loners are the most frequent victims, especially if they cry easily or lack social self-defense skills. Many victims are unable to deflect a conflict with humor and don’t think quickly on their feet. They are usually anxious, insecure and cautious and suffer from low self-esteem. In addition, they rarely defend themselves or retaliate and tend to lack friends, making them easy to isolate. Therefore, it is vital that you instill confidence in your child and empower him or her to become a healthy, socially adjusted adult.

References
Yale University
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National Crime Prevention Council
National Institute of Child Health & Human Development
National Resource Center for Safe Schools

Sue Scheff: Teen Smoking Decline Stops

By Connect with Kids

“I don’t know if it’s peer pressure or what, but I do think people are smoking a lot more than they used to.”

– Travis, age 16

After years of dramatic declines in the number of teen smokers, experts say that decline might be reaching a plateau.

“[This change] obviously raises a lot of concern for us,” says Corinne Husten, M.D., the Acting Director with the Office on Smoking and Health at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

A casual survey of teenagers seems to confirm the news.

“Most of my friends smoke,” says 18-year-old Arien.

“More people doing it,” adds Travis, “more people asking you for a cigarette.”

“Everyone I know smokes or whatever,” explains 17-year-old Teri.

In fact, the study finds that 20 percent of teens have smoked a cigarette in the last 30 days. And more than 50 percent have tried smoking.

Experts say a big reason for the change in smoking rates among teenagers is that less money has been spent on anti-smoking campaigns than in recent years – and that many kids aren’t getting that message.

“Right now only four states are funding their tobacco control programs at the minimum level recommended by the CDC,” explains Dr. Husten.

It’s all the more important, she says, that kids hear an anti-smoking message at home.

But often, that’s not the case.

“A lot of time parents I think have a laissez-faire attitude toward tobacco,” says Dr. Husten, “They say ‘well it’s not hard drugs, they’re not drinking and driving’. But actually tobacco is highly addictive; the kids experiment, they’re hooked on it before they even realize that, and then they spend their lives trying to stop.”

She says parents should talk regularly about the dangers of cigarettes, and “reinforcing that by saying we aren’t going to allow smoking in our home, we are going to go to smoke-free restaurants. So it’s not like the parent’s saying, well, this is bad for you but it’s okay for me. It’s saying this is something none of us should be doing.”


Tips for Parents

Research shows that a vast majority of smokers began when they were children or teenagers. While recent legislation has helped reduce smoking, it still remains an important health concern. Consider the following statistics from the U.S. Surgeon General:

Approximately 80 percent of adult smokers started smoking before the age of 18.

More than 5 million children living today will die prematurely because of a decision they make as adolescents – the decision to smoke cigarettes.

An estimated 2.1 million people began smoking on a daily basis in 1997. More than half of these new smokers were younger than 18. This boils down to every day, 3,000 young people under the age of 18 becoming regular smokers.

Nearly all first uses of tobacco occur before high school graduation.

Most young people who smoke are addicted to nicotine and report that they want to quit but are unable to do so.

Tobacco is often the first drug used by young people who use alcohol and illegal drugs.

Among young people, those with poorer grades and lower self-image are most likely to begin using tobacco.

Over the past decade, there has been virtually no decline in smoking rates among the general teen population. Among black adolescents, however, smoking has declined dramatically.

Young people who come from low-income families and have fewer than two adults living in their household are especially at risk for becoming smokers.

Encourage your child to join an anti-smoking group and support him/her in kicking the habit. If you are currently a smoker, you should also try to stop. Children look to their parents for support and strength; taking the anti-smoking journey alongside your child can be a huge benefit. In addition to attending the meetings, The Foundation for a Smoke-Free America offers these suggestions:

Develop deep-breathing techniques. Every time you want a cigarette, do the following three times: Inhale the deepest breath of air you can and then, very slowly, exhale. Purse your lips so that the air must come out slowly. As you exhale, close your eyes, and let your chin gradually drop to your chest. Visualize all the tension leaving your body, slowly draining out of your fingers and toes — just flowing on out. This technique will be your greatest weapon during the strong cravings smokers feel during the first few days of quitting.

During the first week, drink lots of water and healthy fluids to flush out the nicotine and other toxins from your body.

Remember that the urge to smoke only lasts a few minutes, and then it will pass. The urges gradually become further and further apart as the days go by.

Do your very best to stay away from alcohol, sugar and coffee the first week (or longer) as these tend to stimulate the desire for a cigarette. Also, avoid fatty foods, as your metabolism may slow down a bit without the nicotine, and you may gain weight even if you eat the same amount as before quitting. Discipline regarding your diet is extra important now.

Nibble on low calorie foods like celery, apples and carrots. Chew gum or suck on cinnamon sticks.
Stretch out your meals. Eat slowly and pause between bites.
After dinner, instead of a cigarette, treat yourself to a cup of mint tea or a peppermint candy. Keep in mind, however, that in one study, while 25 percent of quitters found that an oral substitute was helpful, another 25 percent didn’t like the idea at all – they wanted a clean break with cigarettes. Find what works for you.

Go to a gym, exercise, and/or sit in the steam of a hot shower. Change your normal routine – take a walk or even jog around the block or in a local park. Get a massage. Pamper yourself.
Ask for support from coworkers, friends and family members. Ask for their tolerance. Let them know you’re quitting, and that you might be edgy or grumpy for a few days. If you don’t ask for support, you certainly won’t get any. If you do, you’ll be surprised how much it can help.
Ask friends and family members not to smoke in your presence. Don’t be afraid to ask. This is more important than you may realize.

On your “quit day,” remove all ashtrays and destroy all your cigarettes, so you have nothing to smoke.

If you need someone to talk to, call the National Cancer Institute’s Smoking Quitline at 1-877-44U-Quit. Proactive counseling services by trained personnel are provided in sessions both before and after quitting smoking.

Find a chat room online, with people trying to quit smoking. It can be a great source of support, much like a Nicotine Anonymous meeting, but online.

Attend your anti-smoking meetings. If there are no meetings in your city, try calling (800) 642-0666, or check the Nicotine Anonymous website link below. There you can also find out how to start your own meeting. It’s truly therapeutic to see how other quitters are doing as they strive to stop smoking.

Write down ten good things about being a nonsmoker and ten bad things about smoking.
Don’t pretend smoking wasn’t enjoyable. Quitting smoking can be like losing a good friend – and it’s okay to grieve the loss. Feel that grief.

Several times a day, quietly repeat to yourself the affirmation, “I am a nonsmoker.” Many quitters see themselves as smokers who are just not smoking for the moment. They have a self-image as smokers who still want a cigarette. Silently repeating the affirmation “I am a nonsmoker” will help you change your view of yourself. Even if it seems silly to you, this is actually useful.

Here is perhaps the most valuable information among these points: During the period that begins a few weeks after quitting, the urge to smoke will subside considerably. However, it’s vital to understand that from time to time, you will still be suddenly overwhelmed with a desire for “just one cigarette.” This will happen unexpectedly, during moments of stress, whether negative stress or positive (at a party, or on vacation). Be prepared to resist this unexpected urge, because succumbing to that “one cigarette” will lead you directly back to smoking. Remember the following secret: during these surprise attacks, do your deep breathing and hold on for five minutes; the urge will pass.

Do not try to go it alone. Get help, and plenty of it.

References
American Cancer Society
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Foundation for a Smoke-Free America
Nicotine Anonymous

Sue Scheff: Gambling Addiction with Kids

By Connect with Kids

“I think if someone had asked me if I had wanted to go out with a beautiful girl or sit at home and play poker, I probably would have said I’d play poker.”

– Daniel Gushue, 22 years old

Daniel was a compulsive gambler.

Over the course of two years he racked up 18 thousand dollars of credit card debt.

“So on a typical night, my gambling at its worst, say here Oct. 25th,” Daniel says looking at his bank statement, “I deposited $50, I deposited another 50, another 50, a 100, another 100, 50, and then 200. So all-in-all that’s 6- $600.”

A survey by the University of Buffalo found that over two percent of teens admit to having a gambling problem. That’s a small number, but that represents 750 thousand teens.

And some are stealing or selling possessions to continue gambling.

Experts blame accessibility.

“So whereas 15-20 years ago you have to get into a car, drive to a casino, might take you an hour or two hours or three hours to get there, now you can just pick up your cell phone and be gambling while you are waiting in the doctor’s office, or while you’re waiting at the bus stop,” explains Dr. Timothy Fong, Addiction Psychiatrist.

That’s why, experts say, parents need to be proactive.

According to psychologist Dr. Larry Rosen that means, “Familiarize yourself with what potential problems your kids might come up against, and sit them down and talk to them.”

Daniel doesn’t play online poker anymore, but he does gamble on sports.

That makes his girlfriend, Carlee Schaper, nervous. “When it comes to watching him online, sports betting and things like that, I don’t like to see him doing that, because I feel like it’s a slippery slope, and, um, it’s possible for him to go back to his old ways.”

“Should I be gambling?” says Daniel, “Probably not. But for the time being I’m in a good place.”

Tips for Parents

The numbers from a University of Buffalo study are staggering. Three-quarters of a million teens have a serious gambling problem. That includes stealing money to gamble, gambling more money then initially planned, or selling possessions to gamble more. Another 11 percent of teens admit to gambling at least twice a week. Evidence shows that individuals who begin gambling at an early age run a much higher lifetime risk of developing a gambling problem.

Some individuals and organizations support teaching poker to adolescents as a real-life means of instructing on critical reasoning, mathematics and probability. They say teaching the probability of winning is the most important aspect of the game and that the mathematics behind the reasoning that will show kids they won’t win in the long run.

The legal gambling age in the United States is 21. Poker sites enable minors to play by clicking a box to verify that they are the legal age and entering a credit card number. Age is verified further only if suspicions are raised.

Some researchers call gambling the fastest-growing teenage addiction. Teens are especially vulnerable to gambling because of the excitement, the risk and their belief that skill is involved. The Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling and the Connecticut Council on Problem Gambling lists the following warning signs that a teen may be struggling with a gambling problem:

Unexplained need for money: Valuables missing from the home and frequently borrowing money
Withdrawal from the family: Changes in personality, impatience, criticism, sarcasm, increased hostility, irritability, making late-night calls, fewer outside activities, a drop in grades and unaccountable time away from home
Interest in sports teams with no prior allegiance: Watching televised sports excessively, exhibiting an unusual interest in sports reports, viewing multiple games at one time, running up charges to 900 sports phone numbers and showing hostility over the outcome of a game
Gambling paraphernalia: Betting slips, IOUs, lottery tickets, frequent card and dice games at home and the overuse of gambling language, such as “bet,” in conversation
Coming to parents to pay gambling debts
Using lunch or bus money to gamble
Ask yourself the following questions if you suspect your child has a gambling addiction:

Is your child out of the house or confined to a room with a computer for long, unexplained periods of time?
Does your child miss work, school or extra-curricular activities?
Can your child be trusted with money?
Does your child borrow money to gamble with or to pay gambling debts?
Does your child hide his or her money?
Have you noticed a personality change in your child?
Does your child consistently lie to cover up or deny his or her gambling activities?
Compulsive gambling is an illness, progressive in nature. There is no cure, but with help the addiction can be suppressed. Many who gamble live in a dream world to satisfy emotional needs. The gambler dreams of a life filled with friends, new cars, furs, penthouses, yachts, etc. However, a gambler usually will return to win more, so no amount of winning is sufficient to reach these dreams.

The compulsion to gamble can easily lead to self-destructive behavior, especially for teens. If you are concerned that a young person you care about has a gambling problem, encourage him or her to contact a gambling help line in your area or to seek professional help at a gambling treatment facility.

References
American Family Association
Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling
Connecticut Council on Problem Gambling
National Gambling Impact Study Commission
Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education
University of Buffalo's Research Institute on Addictions

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Your Kids Face Challenges

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Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Texting While Driving

By Connect with Kids

“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it.”

– Richard Tatum, 18

Three seconds. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, that’s all the time it takes for a driver to take their eyes off the road and get into a car accident. And now, with more kids than ever texting on their cell phones while they’re driving… how many more crashes will there be? How many more kids will get hurt?

Richard Tatum was sending his girlfriend a text message, just like he does throughout the day. The problem was, this time he was driving while he was texting.

He crossed the median and collided head-on with a cement truck.

“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it,” says Richard, 18.

Richard’s car was totaled: he barely survived.

“It crushed my pelvis and hip and my knee. I tore two ligaments and chipped a piece of my knee cap off.”

According to a recent AAA Auto Club survey, 46 percent of teens admit to text messaging while driving. That’s up from 13 percent just two years ago.

“You just look down to text, look up to drive, look down to text. It’s not hard to do so everybody does it,” says Richard.

Two states, Washington and New Jersey, have made driving while texting illegal. Sixteen more are trying to pass similar legislation.

And it’s not just texting that’s dangerous; simply talking on the phone while driving greatly impairs your ability. Research from the University of Utah shows that driving while talking on the cell phone is equivalent to a .08 blood alcohol level. In most states, if your blood alcohol level is greater than .08 you are considered intoxicated.

Experts say that parents should make it clear: teens can use their cell phone or the car, but not both at the same time.

“With teens, you have to send the message that you cannot do this while you are driving, and if I find out you are doing it, then you are not going to be driving,” says Ted Waldbart, general manager, Safe America Foundation.

As for Richard, he’s now walking and even driving again, but he will never be the same.

“He now has the hip of a 47-year-old because of the cartilage damage and everything. And he is going to have arthritis, and he’s just not going to be able to do the things that he could do before,” says Richard’s mother, Linda Tatum.

“I don’t text when I drive anymore; it’s not worth breaking my good hip,” Richard says with a laugh.

Tips for Parents
The Federal government estimates that 30 percent of car accidents are due to driving distractions. To help keep your teen safe while they are in the car, Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) and Liberty Mutual Insurance Group recommend these guidelines for teaching teens about driving distractions.

Know and enforce your state’s Graduated Driver License laws and restrictions, including unsupervised driving, time of day and passengers in the car.
Sign a teen driving contract (many are available online, including SADD’s Contract for Life.
Set family driving rules with clear consequences for breaking the rules. SADD recommends rules such as:

No alcohol or drug use
No cell phone use, including text messaging
Limit distractions — eating, changing CDs, handling iPods or other activities while driving
Limit or restrict friends in the car without an adult
Be a role model. Your teen will follow your driving example, so be sure you are keeping your own rules.
If you receive an important call or must make a call, pull off the road. Do not drive while calling or texting.
Let your voicemail take the call. You can call back later when you are not driving.
Know when to stop talking. If the conversation is long, emotional or stressful continue it when you are not driving.
Do not take notes while driving. If you don’t want to forget a note, use a take recorder or pull off the road.
Do not eat or drink while driving.
Groom yourself at home, not in the vehicle.

References
Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) & Liberty Mutual Insurance Group Chicago Arts Partnerships in Education (CAPE)
Safe America Foundation
Road and Travel

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Junk Food Commercials by Connect with Kids

“Parents cannot overlook the persuasiveness of TV. [Children] don’t understand that this is a show, this is a commercial, and they are trying to sell you a product. It all runs together.”

– Rachel Brandeis, registered dietician, American Dietetic Association

The number of overweight kids in the U.S. has doubled since 1980, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Some blame the long, inactive hours that children spend watching TV, but new research suggests the reason may be less about how much television children are watching and more about what they’re watching.

Ever since 7-year-old Jake was a toddler, if he saw something on TV that he wanted, “he would point to stuff and say ‘Mama, Mama,’” says Eve Jones, Jake’s mother.

As if on cue, Jake yells from in front of the television, “Mommy! Mommy! Come here fast! I want you to look at this!”

“Sometimes it’s food, sometimes it’s toys,” says Jones.

And when it’s food, says Jones, “It’s always not the healthiest stuff in the world, it’s the stuff with all the food dye, the bright colored stuff, the stuff with sugar in it.”

Many experts believe that the more television kids watch, the more likely they are to be overweight. But is that because they get too little exercise? Not necessarily, says the newest research.

According to the Center for Science in the Public Interest, 9 out of 10 food advertisements on Saturday morning TV are for foods low in nutrients and/or high in fat and sugar.

“I think it is a huge impact and parents cannot overlook the persuasiveness of TV,” says Rachel Brandeis, a registered dietician with the American Dietetic Association. “[Children] don’t understand that this is a show, this is a commercial, and they are trying to sell you a product. It all runs together.”

“Whenever I see people eat something or drink something I go, ‘Mom, can I have something to eat? I’m kind of hungry,’” says Jake.

Today, kids see 40,000 commercials a year – twice the amount of commercials kids saw a generation ago. While current federal guidelines limit the number of commercials that can run during television programs aimed children under the age of 12, experts say parents can also help reduce the cause-and-effect of junk food commercials by limiting screen time and making healthy food choices.

“Remember, you are in charge of what you bring into the home. You can say ‘no,’” says Brandeis.

Tips for Parents

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP):

Children should watch no more than one to two hours of television per day. Parents should watch with children to help interpret messages.

Parents should explain that the purpose of commercials is to make people want things.

Limit the number of commercials your child sees by watching public television stations. You can also record programs without the commercials or buy/rent children's DVDs.

Teach your children to recognize marketing. You can ask the following questions: What is the product being advertised? How are they trying to get you to buy the product? Is there something about the product they are not telling you?

Teach children to read nutritional labels. The FDA regulates the claims manufacturers make on food labels. Here are some common terms as defined by the FDA:

Low-Fat means three grams or less per serving.
Low-Saturated Fat means one gram or less per serving.
Low-Sodium means 140 mg or less per serving.
Low-Calorie means 40 calories or less per serving.
Good source means that one serving of a food contains 10 to 19 percent of the recommended daily allowance for a particular nutrient.

Reduced means that a nutritionally altered product contains at least 25 percent less of a nutrient or calories than the regular, or reference, product.

Light means a nutritionally altered product contains one-third fewer calories or half the fat of the reference food

References
American Academy of Pediatrics
U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA)
American Dietetic Association